Wow. Trials come, and trials go, but with every trial that comes my way, they get bigger than the last. I grow stronger in each situation, but there comes a point when I tire of being in a pit. It's the kind of feeling that tells me that I have been so deeply involved in turmoil for a seemingly long time, but I am riding the line of freedom. I smell freedom. I can sort of feel it in a wierd, agitating way.
This was revealed when I looked through my journal from last year. I went through so many major conflicts. Well, they seemed major at the time, but now when I look back at them, they were petty issues. Even so, I know that they meant something. Others don't understand how these "baby" problems can affect me so much. I desire with all of my being to make God happy and approving of my life. That often leads me to trouble.
I am so sick of letting this rediculous situation control my life. It controls how I act, how I pray, what I say to others, my mood... God has not given His Son's life so that we may have a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7)
This too shall pass. I can only pray that it will pass with me being whole rather than broken-hearted. The faults that could be are obviously clear. Lord, please help me to stay right in the way You have for me. Help me not to fall to the ways of the world or of others around me, but sustain me in Your Love. For You alone are the way to peace and understanding. I trust You with my life. Here is my life, my problems, my emotions, my moods, my actions, my tears, my smiles, my everything. Thank you for the mercies I recieve every morning. Lord, You are amazing. I love You so much. Thank You for everything.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Without
Hola amigos!
I am taking Spanish II with hopes of becoming fluent by the end of my 11th grade year. While studying last year, I realized for the first time that sin (Pronounced: seen) means without. WOW! How relavent! That's a simple reminder to me everytime that I use the word "sin" that God cannot be in our sin. He is perfect and holy. Sin is blemished and ugly and unable to withstand the majestic power of God's precious name. If I want to draw nearer to the heart of God, I must hand over my sin. I must ask for forgiveness, and I must forgive myself...
That's the hard part for me. I become so guilty that it is hard for me to have compassion on myself for what I have done. I can accept that Jesus loves me enough to die for me, but I cannot accept my sinful behaviour. That's where I think perception comes in.
Have you ever heard that "Perception is reality" ? Well, to an extent, that is true. In our minds, what we percieve becomes our reality. I do this a lot: I will look at a person and automatically have a judgment about them. Most of the time, these judgments prove untrue, but I live my life based on my perceptions of these people. This gets me into trouble. Even though I usually do not personally know these people, my judgments are still dangerous. They cause coldness towards others, and they allow my imagination to run WILD! If I stay in God without the judgments, I am more likely to act like our Perfect, Holy God acts. That's what I want. I could care less about my mistakes. All I want is Jesus.
~Amy
I am taking Spanish II with hopes of becoming fluent by the end of my 11th grade year. While studying last year, I realized for the first time that sin (Pronounced: seen) means without. WOW! How relavent! That's a simple reminder to me everytime that I use the word "sin" that God cannot be in our sin. He is perfect and holy. Sin is blemished and ugly and unable to withstand the majestic power of God's precious name. If I want to draw nearer to the heart of God, I must hand over my sin. I must ask for forgiveness, and I must forgive myself...
That's the hard part for me. I become so guilty that it is hard for me to have compassion on myself for what I have done. I can accept that Jesus loves me enough to die for me, but I cannot accept my sinful behaviour. That's where I think perception comes in.
Have you ever heard that "Perception is reality" ? Well, to an extent, that is true. In our minds, what we percieve becomes our reality. I do this a lot: I will look at a person and automatically have a judgment about them. Most of the time, these judgments prove untrue, but I live my life based on my perceptions of these people. This gets me into trouble. Even though I usually do not personally know these people, my judgments are still dangerous. They cause coldness towards others, and they allow my imagination to run WILD! If I stay in God without the judgments, I am more likely to act like our Perfect, Holy God acts. That's what I want. I could care less about my mistakes. All I want is Jesus.
~Amy
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